Monday, February 23, 2009

Red flags of relational difficulties-you better stop the relationship now.
1. You have a general uneasy feeling that there is something wrong in your relationship with your fiance(e).
2. You find yourself arguing often with your fiance(e).
3. Your fiance(e) seems irrationally jealous whenever you interact with someone of the opposite sex.
4. You avoid discussing certain subjects because you are afraid of you fiance(e)'s reaction.
5. Your fiance(e) finds it extremely difficult to express emotions, or is prone to extreme emotions (such as out of control anger or exaggerated fear) or swinging back and forth between emotional extremes (such as being very happy one minute, then suddenly exhibiting extreme sadness the next day).
6. Your fiance(e) displays controlling behavior. This means more than wanting to be in charge-it means your fiance(e) seems to want to control every aspect of your life: your appearance, your lifestyle, your interactions with friends or family, etc. Your fiance(e) seems to manipulate you into doing what he or she wants.
7. You are continuing the relationship because of fear--fear of hurting your fiance(e) or fear of what he or she might do if you ended the relationship.
8. Your fiance(e) does not treat you with respect. He or she constantly criticizes you or talks sarcastically to you.
9. Your fiance(e) is unable to hold down a job, doesn't take personal responsibility for losing a job, or he or she frequently borrows money from you or friends.
10. Your fiance(e) often talks about imagined aches and pains, going from doctor to doctor until he or she finds someone who will agree that he or she is seriously ill.
11. Your fiance(e) is unable to resolve conflict. He or she cannot deal with constructive criticism, never admits a mistake and never asks for forgiveness.
12. Your fiance(e) is overly-dependent on parents for finances, decision-making or emotional security.
13. Your fiance(e) shows a pattern of dishonesty, rationalizing questionable behavior or twisting words to his or her benefit.
14. Your fiance(e) exhibits patterns of physical, emotional or sexual abuse toward you r others. If he or she has ever threatened to hit you or actually struck you, this is a warning sign of future abuse. If he or she puts you down or continually criticizes you, this is a sign of emotional abusiveness.
15. Your fiance(e) displays signs of drug or alcohol abuse: unexplained absences or missed dates, frequent car accidents, the smell of alcohol or strong odor of mouthwash, erratic behavior or emotional swings, physical signs such as red eyes, unkempt look, unexplained nervousness etc.
16. Your fiance(e) displays a sudden, dramatic change in lifestyle as you began dating. (He or she may be changing just to win you and will revert back to old habits after marriage).
(Preparing for marriage by David Boehi...)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Preparing for marriage by David Boehi....ni oqishni boshladim. Ancha ozimni holatimni analiz qilishga yordam berdi. Nasroniy dinga moljallab yozilgan bolsa ham tegishli joylarini keraklicha talqin qila olayapman deb oylayman va oldin qayerda edim degan oy yodimdan ketmayapti. Marriage degan sozdan qochgan bolsam kerak menimcha, yoki google searchda birinchi bolib shu kitob chiqayapti endi qidiruvga berib korsam.


Shu kitobda True North yani Chin shimol iborasi bilan chiroyli oxshatish qilingan. Odatda kompas dunyoni 4 tomonini korsatadi deb qabul qilingan, Shimolga qarab otlangan bolsangiz shimolni korsatishi kerak. Ma'lumki, dunyoda bitta shimoliy qutb bor va u ozgarmas. Ammo kompas haqiqiy shimolni korsatmasdan chin shimoldan 1300 mil uzoqlikda bolgan magnetik maydonga yonalarkan.
Har bir dengizchining oldida xaritadagi shimol bilan kompas korsatgan magnetik shimol ortasida togri moljal olishdek katta mas'uliyat turarkan. Ushbu mo'ljalda hattoki bir gradusga ham adashish, dengiz bo'ylab yuzlab kilometrdagi masofaga adashishga olib kelishi mumkin.
Haqiqiy shimol va magnetik shimol bugungi dunyoda haqiqatni izlovchi bir insonga nisbatan oxshatishday. Chin shimol bu Haqiqat ya'ni Xudoning kalomi. U qat'iy, muqarrar va aniq. Geografik shimol dunyo xaritasiga haqiqiy shimol bolgani kabi.U hayotimizga va nikohimizga haqiqiy shimoldir.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Yaponiyada har doim torlikni his qilgan bolsam, Amerikada har doim kattalikni his qilaman. Uy-joy, odamlar, kiyimlar, ovqat, moshina, xaridlar, hamma narsa kop, katta, keng, HUGE.
Ozimni amerikaliklar ichida juda ham nozik va ixcham his qilayapman, har qancha ovqat bolmasin tap tortmay yeyishga shayman, baribir ulardan ozgin korinaman. :)
Yaponiyada har doim ozimni yomon his qilardim bir biridan ozgina odamlarni ichida, men ularni ichida har holda normal bolmayotganday tuyulardim.

Ha, bu amerika, hamma narsa keragidan ortiq. Menga hamma narsani waste qilib ishlatadigan amerikaliklarning economic crisisda qanday pullarini saqlab qolish yoki kopaytirish haqidagi tashvishlari juda ham ajoyib va garoyib tuyulayapti, turli-tuman hikoyalar... :)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Men ustimga bir issiq suv, bir sovuq suv quyib oynayotganday edim. Oxirgi chelak sovuq suv meni oziga keltirdi. Katta xato qilib qoymasdan oldin oz vaqtida ozimni anglab yetganim yaxshi boldi deb oylayman. Xudo bu yogiga quvvat bersin!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

Robert Southey

So, the slower years have already begun. I actually wondered why I was feeling bored. oops, bored of what?!


Onam bilan gaplashgim kelganda

Hozir birov bilan gaplashmasam bo`midi shekilli, shuning uchun yozaman. Hech bolmaganda blogspot sahifalari oqiydi, biror odam kirmasa ham blogimga. Hech kim o`qimasa ham hozirga hayollarimdan soqit bo`laman.

Haqiqatdan ham yolg`iz bo'lish yomon. O'ylab-o'ylab Onamga telefon qildim. 14 minutlarga kelganda Onam "mayli qizim, ozingni ehtiyot qil, dugonalaringga salom ayt, sen xursand yursang boldi....." deb boshladilar. Yoq, Ona! Men siz bilan gaplashgim kelayapti, yana ozgina, nega har safar shu men yaxshi sen yaxshi gaplar bilan otadi suhbatimiz? Meni ichimda nima bolayapti nega soramaysiz, nega men Ona shunaqa shunaqa deb aytolmayman. Kimga kerak bunaqa formal munosabat, kim oylab topgan, eng muhimi kim yaratgan? Meni ozimga bogliqku degim keladi, biror bir aytgim kelgan gapni Onamga aytish uchun men kamida uch kun Onam bilan birga bolishim kerak boladi, hamma gapni gaplashib bolib, gaplashgani gap qomaganidan random esga tushib ketganga oxhsab gapiraman keyin. Ozim yaratibmanku unda.

Yana oylab qolaman, shu ona bilan qizni ortasidagi katta yosh farqi ham ularni sirdoshlik munosabatlariga tasir qilamikan deb. Shunday bolsa men bub borada omadlilardanmanmi yoki qurbonmanmi?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Seni Sog`indim....

Boshqa so'z aytolmam yukardan to'lib
Afsus, boqa olmas, ko'zlarim to'yib
Lekin bilishingni hohlardim shuni
Men seni sog'indim, yoningda turib

Hijronlar qoldiku ortimda cho'kib
Yo'qota olmayin sabrimni ko'mib
Alam qilayapti, g'oliba bo'lib
Men seni sog'indim, yoningda turib

Mast aylasa ishqing mastona bo'lib
Diydoringdan ko'ngil, devona bolib
Sensizlik hayotdan ravona bo'lib
Men seni sog'indim, yoningda turib.