Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Hosting Simple Marriage Ceremonies

If people really want to blessings in their marriages and desire that the marriages should be filled with love and pious offsprings, they should follow the advice of Rasulullah sav, who said, "The marriage with the most blessings is the one in which the least expense are incurred."
Rasulullah sav has also mentioned, "The best of women are those who ask for the least dowry." (Ibn Hibban)
According to another Hadith, Rasulullah sav said, "The signs of a blessed woman is that her proposal comes soon, her dowry is small and her child is born soon." (Kanzul Ummaal)
One can well imagine that if the Shari'ah encourages the least expense for the dowry, which is a prerequisite of marriage, it will certainly encourage even less expenditure for the wedding ceremony and trousseau, which have no status at all in the Shari'ah.
Hazrat Sufyaan Thowri ra has mentioned that when a bridegroom asks his bride what she brought with her, he is a thief. His wicked nature is indicated by the fact that instead of asking for mundane commodities from his in-laws, he should be grateful to them for giving him the light of their lives whom they painstakingly raised for so many years. By this token, it is also improper for a son-in-law to send a gift to his parent-in-law whit the desire that they should also send him a gift.
Every woman will naturally say that she wants to incur the least expenses for her parents and will therefore not mind if her parent gave her little or even nothing when she marries. "However," she will concede, "I have no choice in the matter because my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law will ridicule me and people will look down on my family." It is the custom in may countries that the bridegroom's parents prepare a list of items that they want from the bride's parents. They even request what should be given to the bridegroom himself what should be given to his father, to his mother and to each of his brothers and sisters. If this is not given in writing, it is made clear to the bride's parents in some other manner. This practice is unjust and violate the injunctions of the Shari'ah.
It is therefore imperative for every woman to bear in mind that she will soon be a sister-in-law or a mother-in-law when her brother or son marries. When the occasion arises, she should ensure that she or her mother do not impose on the parents of her son's or brother's in-laws. If her mother demands anything form her brother's in-laws, she should explain to her mother that the practice is unjust and that if she imposes on them, the tie may come when her daughter's in-laws may impose on her. Favours should be sought only from Allah. Causing people unnecessary expenditure will invite Allah's wrath. 
from "A gift for Muslim Bride"

1 comment:

  1. "Hazrat Sufyaan Thowri ra has mentioned that when a bridegroom asks his bride what she brought with her, he is a thief"